The Bottom 10 is a rankings of the bottom ten teams in college football. This ranking is compiled by compiling the records of each Division I FBS school, with an emphasis on how close they are to achieving bowl eligibility and their academic achievements as reported by The College Football Playoff Committee and the NCAA.
College football is a popular sport that is loved by many. The “college football bottom 10 week 4” will provide you with the latest rankings of the worst teams in college football.
[Editor’s note: Texas was defeated by the No. 1 Bottom 10 team, although UConn and New Mexico State gave a brief ray of optimism.] Meanwhile, the Horned Frogs and Florida Gators must compete for the coveted fifth spot.]
This week’s inspirational thought:
My heart is no longer shattered while we’re beneath the lights. For a brief time, For a brief time,
Is a single instant, however, sufficient? Maybe
“Just for a Moment,” says the narrator. Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett
We’re still basking in the light of possibly the most historic event in the annals of Bottom 10 history here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, housed within the massive library of leather-bound volumes where Dan Mullen studied to become so much wiser than the rest of us.
On Saturday, Nov. 13, 2021, at 12:06 p.m. ET, all of the Bottom 10 planets aligned, producing a wormhole with such pull and force that not even college football’s most haughty brand names could escape. Forget that those planets were really foam balls from a solar system project from a middle school science fair that I discovered in my garage. They had aligned, and it was wonderful for a little time.
UConn, rated No. 2 in the nation, returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown against Clemson, taking an early lead over the Tigers that lasted virtually the whole first quarter. Meanwhile, at Alabama, bottom-ranked No. 4 New Mexico State kicked a 50-yard field goal and led the Crimson Tide 3-0 for 44 seconds.
That’s correct. Two teams from the bottom ten lead the two teams that have dominated the College Football Playoff era for 44 seconds. For 44 seconds, one could gaze up into the sky above Death Valley and Tuscaloosa and see over every plane of the college football universe, as if they were in “Thor: The Dark World.”
Then it was over as the 44th second passed and Alabama scored… and Clemson scored less than three minutes later. The spark had gone. There was no longer any hope. So we reasoned. Then, as if Yoda were speaking to Obi-Wan from beyond the grave, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Big Jay said, “No, there’s another option. Chalk on the ground.”
Here are the 2021 post-Week 11 Bottom 10 rankings, with apologies to Frank Oz, Thor Odinson, and Steve Harvey.
1. Mexico State, oh my! (1-9)
Alabama didn’t stop scoring against the Other Aggies until it was time to bring in all the third-stringers, a few members of the coaching staff, and a handful of Bryant-Denny Stadium ushers, eventually winning 59-3. The Other Aggies are now in Kentucky for the second half of their Getting Paid by the SEC World Tour 2021. New Mexico State has a 1.1 percent probability of winning at Kroger Field, according to the mystically amazing FPI algorithms. The $1.2 million that the UK is paying the team to come will, on the other hand, buy a lot of food.
2. UMess UMess UMess UMe (1-9)
While NMSU and UConn tried to terrify the schools they want to be like, the Minutemen went back in time in the worst manner possible, falling 35-10 to the Maine Black Bears. UMass and Maine used to be FCS rivals, as Massachusetts controlled the series 41-16-1 throughout those decades. Maine has won two of the three games the teams have played since UMass went up to the FBS level. So, that was a wise decision.
3. You won’t be able to (1-9)
With barely two weeks left in the season, our Bottom 10 selection committee confronts the same dilemma as the College Football Playoff committee, which is debating whether to pit Oregon against Ohio State and Michigan State against Michigan. How important is head-to-head competition? UMass’ sole victory this season came against UConn, but the Huskies just looked excellent against Clemson and just signed Jim Mora as their new head coach, but UMass has lost back-to-back games to FCS opponents and recently dismissed head coach Walt Bell. By the end of the eye test, we came to the conclusion that UConn looked superior. Plus, we bugged the CFP conference room to listen in on the conversations, so it doesn’t matter who wins.
FI(not A)U FI(not A)U FI(not A)U FI (1-9)
Butch Davis has confirmed that he will not return to coach Florida International in 2022, which is strange considering we thought it was already a done deal when FIU announced their hunt for a new head coach by releasing a job advertisement that looked like it was for a new cafeteria manager. Davis suddenly came out to the media after a brief silence, claiming that the Panthers are using old uniforms and second-hand equipment, and that the school is “sabotaging the program.” What’s the good news? It wasn’t even close to the most bizarre remarks made by a college football coach in Florida this week.
5. Toridas (or Flexas?)
It’s unusual for two clubs to share the coveted fifth spot. (Does this put it in the Coveted 2.5 category?) However, here we are. In Austin, Texas fell to then-No. 1 Kansas, which was the Nayhawks’ first Big 12 road win in 4,788 days. On Oct. 4, 2008, KU won a conference game on the road for the first time. “Body of Lies,” starring Leo DiCaprio, was the top-grossing picture that week. How about Florida head coach Dan Mullen getting upset because people called his team’s 70-52 win over Samford “disappointing,” despite the fact that the Bulldogs are an FCS team with a losing record and scored 42 points in the first half, a record for any Swamp visitor in 115 years of Gator football? Who’d have guessed that the emperor’s new wardrobe featured custom-made Jordans?
Missed in the South (1-9)
For a brief time, it seemed like the Moldin’ Eagles could get in on the upset action, as they gave former Bottom 10 adversary R.O.C.K. in the UTSA a fright, but the Roadrunners landed an anvil on their heads for a 27-17 victory.
Indiana is number seven. Sirs, who are you? (2-8)
Indiana was a 6.5-point favorite over In A Rutgers at home, but they fell by 35 points. When both unLv and Arkansaw State had the nerve to win their second games of the season, it opened the door for IU to make its first appearance in the Bottom 10 of the season… and then it was swiftly shut on its feet.
8. Akronmonious is a slang term for a person who is (2-8)
Only one two-win club remains in #MACtion, and that is these guys. The Zips will now host Kent State, who will travel 14 miles to Akron to compete for the Wagon Wheel. According to legend, the wheel was removed from the wagon of businessman John Buchtel when the vehicle of the future founder of Akron University got mired in the mud. Our Bottom 10 sleuths discovered that the wagon was also known as The Perfect Metaphor.
9. Commode Doors at Vanderbilt (2-8)
Vanderbilt fell to Kentucky at home, giving the Wildcats their seventh win of the season and securing second place in the SEC East. Vandy supporters may be heard yelling afterward “Remember how bad we were at football when we were younger? Why have you abandoned us?”
By the time I get to Arizona, I’ll be ten years old (1-9)
The Mildcats followed off their first victory in almost two years by terrifying the Utah Utes, but eventually fell 38-29. They’ll complete the year with visits to Washington State and Arizona State before spending the winter inside Biosphere 2 in Tucson, where they’ll be forced to watch Pauly Shore’s “Bio-Dome” on repeat until spring practice.
Tulame, unLv, Kansas Nayhawks, Minute Rice, Temple Bowels, Whew Mexico, Arkansaw State, and ulm, which recently lost to Arkansaw State in COVID-19, are on the waiting list.
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